The Naked Robber

A lot of popular trends from the 80′s and early 90′s that were once highly regarded should have, in hind sight, been stuffed into a suitcase and thrown into a wood chipper. This goes for anything with florescent colors, Steve Urkel, and the entire band Poison. These horrendous embarrassments were good for a few laughs at the time but since then we have hopefully learned our lesson: when you’re alone and bored some things seem like a good idea, but in the end you can never look at your dog the same way.

Listening to video game music not only labels you as a chronic masturbator with a compulsive eating habit but proves to the world that you live a sad life based off of stupid entertainment for small children. Take a walk down memory lane as The Naked Robber points out the obvious with a list of the best video game music from the 90′s.

The recession has affected everyone. It’s delayed video game launches, cost thousands of jobs and sucker punched your bank account in the daddy sack. Do you really want to live in a world where the local rub and tug can’t even keep it’s doors open? Something has to change. Maybe it’s time you thought about taking your life in another direction. Maybe it’s time you thought about becoming one of the homeless by reading this brochure!

If you’re anything like me, then you probably own more old, dusty PC games from the 90′s than there is things a cracked out hooker on meth will do for spare change and cigarettes. There was a time when I took pride in having all these wasted childhoods on a bookshelf in their original boxes, proud of the thousands of dollars I spent on women treating me like malignant cancer.