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Nothing says ‘loyal fan base’ like a bunch of aging nerds who anxiously await the latest Metal Slug adventure like starved rats begging for crumbs. In a time of ultra evolved game play and hyper-realism, the era of 2D gaming has long since been left in the dust but there are still a few die-hards who realize there’s more to gaming than just riding the cutting edge of pretty pictures and advanced physics.

I’m talking about the most treasured shoot’em up platformer in existence, next of course to the hallowed Contra but that is another article all on its own. This is largely due to the fact that these classic arcade games have been consistently in production since 1996 and have maintained a high level of quality long after the platformer ship sailed. SNK is the brain behind Metal Slug and they deserve a lot of credit for keeping this practically dead genre alive with some of the most ass kicking games in arcade history.

Your typical gamer these days would scoff at the likes of Metal Slug, yet keep a straight face when swinging their pudgy arms in the air while playing Wii like a retarded river dancer. Anyone who grew up in the age of Sega Genesis, Neo Geo and Sylvester Stallone blowing shit up in the jungle, should naturally appreciate the nostalgia associated with the style Metal Slug delivers.

Metal Slug games feature highly detailed 2d graphics, excellent animation, hilarious over the top gore and action that comes at a furious pace. This is best enjoyed playing two-player and drinking dangerous amounts of beer with Pantera pounding in the background to really make your blood race. The character, vehicle, and weapon designs are fantastic and cartoony. If your heart doesn’t just melt while gutting Arab and Nazi soldiers, then you have no soul and should stick to your sad world of playing Farmville and not having sex with women.

Every game manages to somehow tell a surprisingly decent story as well with out any sort of text, or dialogue. It’s usually something to do with military experiments and alien artifacts. A super squad of soldiers don’t approve so you parachute in and kill anything with a pulse and destroy anything you can’t drive. For whatever reason you have to constantly rescue dirty hippy clones with filthy blond hair. Personally I’d rather just let them die tied to a pole, but since they’re worth extra points and weapon upgrades I’ll reluctantly set them free.

Anyone who enjoys these type of games I encourage to show full support when they are released so that developers will continue making them and by that I mean purchase the games, not shady sexual favors. In the last few years we’ve seen some excellent releases like Contra 4 for the DS, Contra Rebirth for the Wii, and Super Mario Brothers for both the DS and Wii. There’s even been some excellent independent games released such as Braid from Jonathan Blow and the (hopefully) upcoming Owlboy from D-Pad Studios. My hat goes off to companies like SNK, Konami, Nintendo, and indie developers for their throwbacks to the genre and dedication that help it survive.

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Ignorant Geek Wisdom

• The term dust bunnies may sound cute, but when they evolve to the point of sentience and operate functional economies based on your fallen skin and toe nail clippings it’s time for some genocide.

  -Alan

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