Archive for May, 2010

Good Old Games!

If you’re anything like me, then you probably own more old, dusty PC games from the 90′s than there is things a cracked out hooker on meth will do for spare change and cigarettes. There was a time when I took pride in having all these wasted childhoods on a bookshelf in their original boxes, proud of the thousands of dollars I spent on women treating me like malignant cancer.

10 Reasons Why You’re The Office Joke

10 Reasons Why You're The Office Joke

Every creature in this world has a job to do. This is true for the lowly ant dragging bits of sugar around and also for the middle aged immigrant women who scrapes the dried shit off the bathroom wall at McDonald’s. The work we do might not be fun but it’s what we were born for. So quit bitching about the shitty chairs at the office and take a minute to absorb these 10 reasons why you’re what people laugh about in the break room:

New iPhone Specs Revealed

Everyone has heard of the most recent iPhone scandal, but not all of the information was published at that time. The Naked Robber has sunk to its lowest depths to date in order to bring you more inaccurate information.

In the detailed blueprint below you’ll find a wealth of information about Apple’s latest product. We hope it was worth our intern’s anal virginity, because that’s what we sacrificed to bring you this valuable information.

Click here for a high-res version of the report.

Nakedrobber - new iPhone specs revealed

May 18, 2010 • Tags: features, new iphone, specs • Posted in: Naked Robber News • One Comment

The Miracle of Emulation

An 80′s kid like me, who only got a new video game once a year at Christmas, can appreciate the fact that today I can cram every single console game ever developed from 1980 till 1995 onto a storage device smaller than a 30 year old virgins will to live. With the aid of incredible software such as ZSNES, NesterJ, Fusion and many others, we can play any of our childhood favorites without the headache of unreliable electronics, sticky cartridges and a tangled mess of cables that are tempting to hang ourselves with thanks to the great effort of many lonely people who sadly spent their Saturday nights speaking binary while the rest of us were out meeting girls and having sex.

Dungeons and Virgins

Trying playing with this dice for a change

From the very first moment you enter the world of Dragon Age Origins it’s clear that you’re in a place rich with history. As you wander the mighty halls and journey deep underground you get a sense of the hundreds of lonely individuals that sacrificed years of sexual adventures to bring you roughly 60 hours of RPG gaming. Yes, this new franchise has been built upon a foundation of expertise, skill and unused condoms. But where did this style of American RPG gaming come from and what brought us to where we are today? Let’s dive into this rich history and take a look at the true origin of Origins: