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Uneducated Opinion

Ultima Reincarnate

 By Mike - January 13, 2011

nakedrobber richardgarriott Ultima Reincarnate

In traditional Naked Robber fashion I’m here today to point out the obvious and discuss irrelevant observations about aged games and topics that nobody remembers or cares about.

I’ve been known to violently bitch and complain in the past about a number of things, usually Asian drivers or menstruating women but the classic series of RPG games known as Ultima (which were raped, pissed on and beaten to death as if featured in one of my favorite snuff films) is always a popular topic when I start drinking and throwing beer bottles against the wall.

(Editor’s note: Usually when I’m writing this drivel I try to put myself in the place of our readers and make sure I’m communicating my points clearly. So I’ll pretend that I’m just like you, a disfigured mongoloid who was born in the 90′s, breast fed till the age of 13 and doesn’t know a goddamn thing about video game culture. One thing that I would like to make perfectly clear is that when I refer to Ultima, I am not talking about Ultima Online. The classic RPG’s are completely seperate from the MMORPG’s)

Nothing suffered worse than Ultima after Electronic Arts devoured Origin Systems the way Kevin Smith does when he unhinges his jaw before a pig roast. The slow torture the fans went through during the final years were horribly painful much like how the hobo hanging by his toenails in my attic must feel when he’s coated in honey and fire ants. After much hype and anxious waiting prior to Ultima IX’s release, the fans were eventually greeted in 1999 with a game that was a bigger let down than the time you discovered the slutty girl you’ve been getting freaky with was actually your cousin.

nakedrobber u9 Ultima Reincarnate

Sadly, the best part about this game was the box.

The final installment of the legendary franchise was nothing more than a flaccid, hollow shell of a game that tried to do too much and delivered far too little. The problem with Ultima IX and even Ultima VIII to an extent is that under EA’s incompetent eye the developing team spent the majority of their time chasing unnecessary graphical achievements and doing bong hits out of Richard Garriott’s ass on a path to glory.

As a result, this laid waste to Ultima’s foundation and keys to success over the years: story and exploration. Fans were used to seemingly limitless adventuring, dungeon crawling and side quests but what they got instead was a pointless 3D adventure that was recognized as Brittania only by name. Now, years later, Ultima is long dead along with many other victims during the ongoing EA holocaust, buried in a mass grave of games and abused fan bases. While our wounds have healed, we can’t help but wonder what could have been.

In 2007 a game called The Witcher was released from Poland by CD Projekt. It initially appeared like most other RPG’s and while it is a fantastic game, it didn’t exactly reinvent the genre. One thing that has caused it to stand out to some of the old school gamers is the similarity in gameplay to the great Ultima’s of yesteryear.

nakedrobber witcher1 Ultima Reincarnate

Some action from The Witcher.

The parallels are uncanny, not in story but in structure and atmosphere. From the point and click combat, to the reagent based magic.  When you begin collecting potion ingredients out in the wilderness or rummaging through strangers homes stealing their shit, it begins to scream classic Ultima. Playing in the high isometric view and navigating with only the mouse, it will caress the nostalgic glands and remind you fondly of your wasted youth. Gone are the days of spending countless hours hunched over a tiny monitor, defending Britannia’s virtues or exploring the catacombs in Pagan which explains why today your spine resembles a twisted candy cane and you walk like a 95 year old woman.

Obviously the technology wasn’t quite where it needed to be at the time for Ultima IX to have been the game the developers hoped and dreamed for. However, here we are a decade later and someone has finally come along and torn a few pages straight out of the forgotten Ultima book and made a game that would have been a perfect style for a proper finale to a long line of games dating back to 1980.

nakedrobber witcher2 Ultima Reincarnate

Clearly The Witcher has gone above and beyond what any Ultima had ever dreamed of since it is a product of modern gaming, and by that I mean it’s use of skill trees, story branches and richer combat. Obviously I’m not pointing fingers because these things were unheard of in the mid to late 90′s but they certainly could have been a natural progression if the Ultima games had evolved properly and if smarter decisions had been made.

Any fan of the Ultima games who overlooked The Witcher in 2007, give it a try. While the land of Temeria is certainly not Brittania, you might learn to appreciate Geralt of Rivia the same way you do the Avatar.

The Witcher: Enhanced Edition on Steam

avatar mike article Ultima Reincarnate

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  • Mike

    “How many other franchises can survive that many sequels?”

    Final Fantasy, Dragon Quest, Zelda, Mario, Street Fighter, nearly every EA sports game..

    Does anyone out there have acid arrows in their inventory? Aim for his neck.

  • Gym Star

    Sorry if my Ultima knowledge is lacking. I take that as a compliment. But you only further my point, as Origin Systems was responsible for MORE THAN 6 sequels. Dead horse for sure. How many other franchises can survive that many sequels?
    And you’re right, after actually bothering to read your article, I do see that you thoroughly enjoyed the Witcher. In fact, that was kind of what the entire article was about. I knew I probably should have read what you wrote first, then comment. Regardless, is it the greatest American RPG franchise ever? What about all the other great American RPGs? Wizardry, Baldur’s Gate, Neverwinter Nights, Knights of the Old Republic, Mass Effect, Dragon Age, Fallout, The Elders Scrolls, Fable. OK that last one was a joke.
    Just because you have fond memories of the Ultima series from you were still pulling lincoln logs out of your ass, doesn’t make it the best series ever. There have been plenty of new and better RPGs that have been released during your 30 year absence, and the Witcher may be just one of many. So shave that beard, get some sunlight, and welcome to the future.

  • Mike

    Oh Gym Star…you have been a thorn in my side for far too long. You see, someone who has actually played an Ultima would understand that reference. At least get your facts straight if you’re going to try to roast games you’ve never played.

    There are 10 (this number is displayed as ‘X’ in Roman numerals) core Ultima games I-IX, VII was broken into 2 parts (both with their own expansion). There are also over a dozen other spin offs, most notably Ultima Underworld I and II. These were all spread out over a 19 year period (1980 – 1999).

    In some ways you are right. I do feel that Ultima VII is one of the greatest RPG’s ever made and I also believe that Ultima is the greatest American RPG franchise ever. That’s not to say that superior games haven’t come out since, clearly they have. If you actually read the article you would note that I recently played the Witcher, a game that is better in many ways to any Ultima. However you might not like it because you can’t beat it in under 4 hours.

    After EA’s takeover (Ultima VIII+), the only two games under their watch fell flat. Disappointing sales led to the dismantling of Origin. After all those years and all those games, it deserved a better fate. We’re talking games that have been around since you were in High School with a massive dedicated following couldn’t sell. Ultima IX isn’t bad because there were too many predecessors, it’s bad because the game just sucks. It’s Modnation Racers bad. The series increasingly gained in quality over the years and flopped as soon as EA took the reigns. Whose fault is that? Well I wasn’t there so I can’t say but I’ll point my finger at the common denominator.

    If you’re going to bust somebody’s balls, make it your own to prevent future Gym Star generations from trolling.

    PS. Asshat, what the hell are you talking about?

  • Gym Star

    This article makes you sound like an old grumpy man, yearning for the days of old. Welcome to the next gen Mike. We has graphix. For fucks sake, you make it sound like there’s never been a game that tops Ultima, like 1980 was the pinnacle of RPG gaming. Maybe, just maybe, if you hadn’t severed contact with the outside world in ’81, living in your mom’s basement and subsisting off a diet of cheetos and cherry sprite, you may have experienced some of the other great RPGs out there. Did you ever stop and think that after 6 goddamn sequels, that perhaps the Ultima storyline was beaten to death like a trailer park mom? It’s easy to blame EA for killing it, but much less easy to accept the truth that no fucking game is good enough to survive no less than 6 sequels over a period of 10 years. Origin systems milked that tit dry, and in turn, destroyed the one thing most sacred to them. So fire up that 56K modem and search the newsgroups for some modern RPGs that make Ultima look like the 8 track player in your Dad’s Camaro.

    PS. I have no fucking clue what AssHat is talking about.

  • AssHat

    So I take you do not like EA? Weird and totally unfounded.

    Hey wait Avatar is good cause it was in 3D and cause it made the most money ever and cause people say so.