Archive for May, 2011

Mistress of the Night

The time has come for the Professor to paint you a depressing, detailed picture which will look all too familiar. It’s a dark, rainy night and you are alone at home. You are watching the same old bukkake porn and jerking off into the same old cereal bowl. You have not made love to a woman since the series finale of Perfect Strangers, so it’s time for you to find a girl without the burden of a nagging relationship. Let me take you for a ride into the exciting world of cheap hookers and find out what they can do for your comatose sex life!

May 12, 2011 • Tags: cheap hookers, lonely masturbating, prostitutes, tweed • Posted in: The Wisdom of Professor Tweed • 2 Comments

Top 10 Space Simulator Games

I used to have an imagination. I could dream up interesting worlds and go on exciting adventures without huffing enough glue to kill an elephant. Unfortunately years of working in a cubicle, surrounded by people who are genetically closer to cardboard than primates, has reduced my once vivid imagination to day dreaming about eating a doughnut without getting heart burn. Clearly, I need the stuff of my youth to kick start this Swiss cheese brain again. I need the space simulator games of the 1990′s.

May 10, 2011 • Tags: best space games, flight sims, Playing with a joystick that doesn't have herpes sores, space pc games, space simulators, starship video games, top 10 space sims • Posted in: Video Games • 10 Comments