Archive for the ‘Uneducated Opinion’ Category
Ultima Reincarnate
In traditional Naked Robber fashion I’m here today to point out the obvious and discuss irrelevant observations about aged games and topics that nobody remembers or cares about.
I’ve been known to violently bitch and complain in the past about a number of things, usually Asian drivers or menstruating women but the classic series of RPG games known as Ultima (which were raped, pissed on and beaten to death as if featured in one of my favorite snuff films) is always a popular topic when I start drinking and throwing beer bottles against the wall.
Online Nerd Rage and You
If I haven’t met you chances are I don’t want to hear your voice while I’m playing games. Not because you were caught playing one man tug of war in the bathroom of the party bus though. It’s because multiplayer lobbies have conditioned me to believe that if I unmute your microphone, I will be subjected to either:
- A) Some psychotic rant about your penis
- B) The sound of you giving yourself a colonoscopy with the microphone
Times Have Changed
When I think of difficult games, my mind goes to hellish classics such as any Contra, Bart vs. The Space Mutants, or trying to fit Kevin Smith through a doorway without using power tools. Over the last few days I’ve found myself recollecting games of the past that would be considered ‘hard’ by the same people who villainized Demon’s Souls for its apparent Rubik’s Cube like difficulty.
Demon’s Souls is not hard
Demon’s Souls is one of the greatest RPG’s ever made. There. I said it. Want to fight about it? My level 97 Temple Knight will fuck you up.
One thing that this game is not is as difficult as people make it sound. I would by no means say it was easy but the way some people describe it, you would think that it is harder than trying to explain where the bite marks on your penis came from to your wife with no teeth.
Starcraft 2 is good but quit fondling the box
Starcraft 2 launched this month, finally giving you a reason to pry away that vice like grip you have on your lonely, abused penis. My thoughts? Starcraft 2 is a good game. I’m enjoying playing it. It’s not a life changing experience like backing over your neighbors 4 year old but it’s still fun. I’m very satisfied with what they delivered. It’s tight, the graphics are solid, the leveling system that Blizzard has introduced makes the single player feel slightly less linear and the whole interface redesign is slicker than the gallons of used motor oil I pour into my neighbor’s creek. So what’s the catch?
