Archive for the ‘Uneducated Opinion’ Category

EA Sports, It’s in the game but it costs extra

Another Satisfied EA customer.... - By Nakedrobber.com

A short while back Electronic Arts released Tiger Woods PGA Tour 11. Playing a golf video game sounds about as fun as cramming my dink into a light socket, but somehow EA found a way to make this experience even less enjoyable. In fact, the way they’ve packaged this game with ‘new features’ makes me prostitute-stranglingly-angry.

August 9, 2010 • Tags: access code, EA, Electronic Arts, rants, used games • Posted in: Uneducated Opinion • Comments Closed

Scott Pilgrim Kickin’ it Retro

A lot of popular trends from the 80′s and early 90′s that were once highly regarded should have, in hind sight, been stuffed into a suitcase and thrown into a wood chipper. This goes for anything with florescent colors, Steve Urkel, and the entire band Poison. These horrendous embarrassments were good for a few laughs at the time but since then we have hopefully learned our lesson: when you’re alone and bored some things seem like a good idea, but in the end you can never look at your dog the same way.

Good Old Games!

If you’re anything like me, then you probably own more old, dusty PC games from the 90′s than there is things a cracked out hooker on meth will do for spare change and cigarettes. There was a time when I took pride in having all these wasted childhoods on a bookshelf in their original boxes, proud of the thousands of dollars I spent on women treating me like malignant cancer.

The Miracle of Emulation

An 80′s kid like me, who only got a new video game once a year at Christmas, can appreciate the fact that today I can cram every single console game ever developed from 1980 till 1995 onto a storage device smaller than a 30 year old virgins will to live. With the aid of incredible software such as ZSNES, NesterJ, Fusion and many others, we can play any of our childhood favorites without the headache of unreliable electronics, sticky cartridges and a tangled mess of cables that are tempting to hang ourselves with thanks to the great effort of many lonely people who sadly spent their Saturday nights speaking binary while the rest of us were out meeting girls and having sex.

I can has mouse an keybord?

A mouse is good for two things, FPS games and being crushed to death

The internet is a place to argue. In fact, most people on forums spend roughly 90% of that time picking fights on irrelevant topics. They rarely agree on anything. This is especially true for the stuff they’re too scared to do themselves (like admitting to their debilitating chronic masturbation problem). There is however, one argument those ugly virgins will agree upon: =IF(FPS GAME) then (Mouse + Keyboard > Controller).

As John Carmack (Creator of Doom series) put it “The keyboard/mouse interface is definitely still the superior interface for a competitive first-person shooter experience, much better than an analog joypad.”

April 27, 2010 • Tags: controller, keyboard, mouse • Posted in: Uneducated Opinion • One Comment