The Naked Robber

The next best thing to video games is sex. But since most of you wouldn’t know about that, let’s dive into the world of video game music cover bands.

Nothing says ‘loyal fan base’ like a bunch of aging nerds who anxiously await the latest Metal Slug adventure like starved rats begging for crumbs. In a time of ultra evolved game play and hyper-realism, the era of 2D gaming has long since been left in the dust but there are still a few die-hards who realize there’s more to gaming than just riding the cutting edge of pretty pictures and advanced physics.

Some things could never have existed and my life wouldn’t have changed, like women’s rights or condoms. Other things actually impacted my life. Perhaps, equally important to my development as the discovery of food was my first playthrough of Half-Life.

I’ve just recently played Chrono Trigger for the first time. Now, before you give me the stink eye and exclude me from your time traveling guild where members wear tinfoil hats and argue over whether Marty Mcfly could beat Crono in a race against time, understand that I’ve been aware of its existence on the top of the ‘Best RPG’s’ lists.

I lie in front of the fire and ponder yesterday’s events. Flashes of toenails and screaming race through my mind. I can’t help but wonder where this shoebox full of toes, dog tails and Moogle heads came from.

The club is a devilishly complex level, filled with challenges that will inevitably turn your good night into a twisted introspective journey that highlights your grotesque body and dull, socially stunted personality.