If I haven’t met you chances are I don’t want to hear your voice while I’m playing games. Not because you were caught playing one man tug of war in the bathroom of the party bus though. It’s because multiplayer lobbies have conditioned me to believe that if I unmute your microphone, I will be subjected to either:

• A) Some psychotic rant about your penis
• B) The sound of you giving yourself a colonoscopy with the microphone
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If the average persons body is a temple, then a gamers body is a mass grave filled with half burned corpses that smells like semen and beef jerky. That being said, thanks to Kinect you might be able to do more with that pile of rolls and hair than just stand in front of a mirror and cry.

Click here to zoom in so you don’t ruin your eyes any further than the 20 years of staring at a screen already have.

It doesn’t matter if your head is bald, hollow and misshapen, because nothing says “I’m the smartest person in the room” like wearing a smelly old fedora bought from a hospice yard-sale. If you enjoyed my previous article that explained the science of blazers, then let me give you some blinding insight into the world of these magical hats and how they can give you the confidence you need to confront women and grope them in public.

When I think of difficult games, my mind goes to hellish classics such as any Contra, Bart vs. The Space Mutants, or trying to fit Kevin Smith through a doorway without using power tools. Over the last few days I’ve found myself recollecting games of the past that would be considered ‘hard’ by the same people who villainized Demon’s Souls for its apparent Rubik’s Cube like difficulty.

If you’ve spent 10 minutes playing Fallout New Vegas, then chances are you’ve already crashed twice, seen people moonwalk through furniture and had your frame rate drop lower than Magic Johnson’s white blood cell count.

Well the good news is Bethseda has just announced that they will be releasing a patch to fix Fallout New Vegas’ many bugs…