Demon’s Souls is one of the greatest RPG’s ever made. There. I said it. Want to fight about it? My level 97 Temple Knight will fuck you up.

One thing that this game is not is as difficult as people make it sound. I would by no means say it was easy but the way some people describe it, you would think that it is harder than trying to explain where the bite marks on your penis came from to your wife with no teeth.

Over the last 30 years one of the most popular themes for video games has been World War 2. However, after over 200 games taking different angles on this slice of history we’ve left this genre drier than a post-op transsexual in a sandstorm. The only thing more common that a WW2 game in the discount bin is a visit to the abortion clinic after Mardi Gras. Does anyone actually still enjoy playing WW2 games anymore? No? Good. Then you’ll enjoy this rant.

Starcraft 2 launched this month, finally giving you a reason to pry away that vice like grip you have on your lonely, abused penis. My thoughts? Starcraft 2 is a good game. I’m enjoying playing it. It’s not a life changing experience like backing over your neighbors 4 year old but it’s still fun. I’m very satisfied with what they delivered. It’s tight, the graphics are solid, the leveling system that Blizzard has introduced makes the single player feel slightly less linear and the whole interface redesign is slicker than the gallons of used motor oil I pour into my neighbor’s creek. So what’s the catch?

A short while back Electronic Arts released Tiger Woods PGA Tour 11. Playing a golf video game sounds about as fun as cramming my dink into a light socket, but somehow EA found a way to make this experience even less enjoyable. In fact, the way they’ve packaged this game with ‘new features’ makes me prostitute-stranglingly-angry.

A lot of popular trends from the 80′s and early 90′s that were once highly regarded should have, in hind sight, been stuffed into a suitcase and thrown into a wood chipper. This goes for anything with florescent colors, Steve Urkel, and the entire band Poison. These horrendous embarrassments were good for a few laughs at the time but since then we have hopefully learned our lesson: when you’re alone and bored some things seem like a good idea, but in the end you can never look at your dog the same way.