8 Games I’m NOT Really Excited About At E3
In case you’ve been locked in a sexual predator’s basement for the past six months, E3 just finished and every video game news site has articles about the E3 games they were most excited for. While anybody with a shred of credibility in the video game industry was being entertained with previews of upcoming games, I was sitting at home eating corn pops naked and alphabetizing my personal flaws.
The Kinect Checklist
If the average persons body is a temple, then a gamers body is a mass grave filled with half burned corpses that smells like semen and beef jerky. That being said, thanks to Kinect you might be able to do more with that pile of rolls and hair than just stand in front of a mirror and cry.
Click here to zoom in so you don’t ruin your eyes any further than the 20 years of staring at a screen already have.
10 Reasons Why You Should Have Been Aborted
All families have their black sheep…unfortunately it’s you and everyone wishes your dad would have accidentally pushed your mom down the stairs during her 8th trimester. Today the Naked Robber takes an in depth look at the 10 obvious reasons why you should have been aborted.
GO HOMELESS!
The recession has affected everyone. It’s delayed video game launches, cost thousands of jobs and sucker punched your bank account in the daddy sack. Do you really want to live in a world where the local rub and tug can’t even keep it’s doors open? Something has to change. Maybe it’s time you thought about taking your life in another direction. Maybe it’s time you thought about becoming one of the homeless by reading this brochure!
10 Reasons Why You’re The Office Joke
Every creature in this world has a job to do. This is true for the lowly ant dragging bits of sugar around and also for the middle aged immigrant women who scrapes the dried shit off the bathroom wall at McDonald’s. The work we do might not be fun but it’s what we were born for. So quit bitching about the shitty chairs at the office and take a minute to absorb these 10 reasons why you’re what people laugh about in the break room:
